How can I leave him?
He's sick,
Injured.
In desperate need
Of love
Unconditional.
In desperate need
Of compassion and comfort.

I thought I was up to the job.
But it seems to takes
A greater heart than mine
To rise above
The squalor,
The anger,
The hurtfulness,
To recognise
His divine soul
Struggling to be free,
And so to love him
Anyway.

I've been his anchor,
He tells me,
The "normal" part
Of his troubled life.
He's trusted me
With his deepest,
Darkest
Secrets.
And dark they are!
Surely, now
He needs me
To love him
In spite of it all.
But
He hates me!
Because
I know!

We're not tested, they say,
Beyond our strength.
Lord, I must be
Superwoman!
So, in which direction are You pointing me?
To persevere,
And learn
Ever greater compassion?
Ever greater love?
Or, to fly free
And seek
My own star?
Or are they one and the same?
 

© 1994, Carmel Pacey Digby

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